sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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