Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Randomize
