if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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