if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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