i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it's like iHOP with fire
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
