do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
