Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My vagina just recognized that song.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
