No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize