He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
