Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
