he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
not ubering you a puppy
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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