You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
