i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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