yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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