Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
