...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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