Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
