i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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