you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
