I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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