kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.