i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.