just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
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So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
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sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny