Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.