Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
