Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
