yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
