am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
