eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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