AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
