her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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