Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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