nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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