How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
