and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
