thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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