Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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