By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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