well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
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Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.