Sponge bath it is.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
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I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.