Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My penis needs a shock collar
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?