I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.