a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday