I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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