just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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