I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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