You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
found the other keg... it's in the tree
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
