yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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