I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
