I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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