I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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