idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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