go do what you do best...puke behind churches
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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