he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dating After Heartbreak
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.