He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?