I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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