just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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