That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
