I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
