Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
