If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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