I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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