Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
accomplished twins. life is a go
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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