So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize