It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
